Why

do i always get the short end of the stick, like everytime i'm interested in someone, another person has to come in right at that moment where my feelings increase and take them. i know they're not mine and all but i mean it happened every single time. i'm kinda getting tired of this shit happening and stuff. i guess i have to fight for what i want like people say. i just don't want to over step my boundries and stuff and ruin something that the other two people have. i fell so "ugh" with my self and stuff. i am not so strong as i would hope for at the moment. i think my happy facade makes everything better to the other people involed in this triangle thingy? idk? but i just wish that one time i can get what everyone else has and not get that taken from me, cause it's a bitch.i just really don't know what to say anymore but best wishes to myself

so it's been really wierd lately since we're back at school and seeing K.N it's kinda awkward for me cause to me i think we had an awesome friendship 'sorta' and it just was thrown away like that. i know it was my fault but it still does suck to know that i cause people pain and i had to deal with that for 4 months and it took a toll on me emotionally and yeah... a part of me wants our friendship back another part doesn't, but more of me does.i mean K.N did say hi twice this year and i was kinda cought off guard so i just went with it and i thought things were going back to normal but they're not aha. i told myself i'd forget about all that stuff and i kinda did but it's hard to forget a major thing that happened in your life. so i guess all i can do is go to school and get C's ahah. what happens happens so i'm okay with that :]