Oh Gosh

That's my new word noooow.Dude i don't know where to go from here i mean you're like my bff but i think you want more from me and i can't give that to you right now. i feel horrible, i mean i thought we were joking around when we were talking about relationship stuff, but i guess you took that seriously. i feel like a bitch. i just don't wanna hurt you at all <3. i feel like people in my little tight community don't even want to get to know me and stuff. i'm just fed up with trying to impress people so im not gonna do that anymore im just gonna be myself from now on! but to YOU i don't want to hurt you in the process of me being me. i love you says moo. but we should stay bff's

Today.

I went to the doctor's to get a physical like during first and second period. It was funny cause i was feeling out a survey and it asked me hella random question. she was like "are you sexually active" and i'm like no. so then i got two shot too, my arm kinda hurts too =/ gaaah. other than that stuff school life is a pain people are so fake it's like sickning. i just want people to be honest, like be who you are. i wanna go watch HSm3 tomorrow but no one to watch it with BOOOO!


=)

Haven't

Blogged in forever it feels like, but much has been going on since last time but i don't feel like blogging about my feelings.

well last week was Homecoming week and i was worried about the dance until i found out that these people weren't going anymore, so that made it tons better. But it would have still been cool to see them =) on friday we had the rally the carnival the telgate and the football game...GEEEZ boy was i tired. from 7 Am til the middle of the football game i was being bitch'd at by Ms.Harris, she really made me feel down about myself and that i did a bad job and stuff, guess she was right. We got our leadership track jackets i thought that they would be better looking but they are just fine with me. On saturday i woke up at 5:40 to get ready for the PSAT's haha i got to school at like 7 something i checked in and took the test christina-rose sat infront of me, haha nice talk we had. the test was pretty simple and a waste of time cause i was so so tired. then got ready for the dance and then went to the dance haha. it was kinda lame i think. teachers are so Blach about freaking, i mean it isn't that bad. They say they don't want to promote sex, but i mean you can fuck before you go to the dance and you can fuck after with or without freaking. But i found out something at the dance that made my stomach hurt and made me sad =/ i'm sorry for whoever that happened to. It also bugged me the whole night i don't know why though. Went to denny's hella people there from the dance haha. eating with laurelle jester and adel and this random white guy was fun =) didnt get home til 2 something.

Today monday!!! things went good haha i was still thinking about what he told me at the dance =/ but yeah school is really boring and that kid is like totally avoiding me now haha i confirmed it =)

DRAMA.

okay so where do i start.



blog more later

Not depressed.

Dude why am i so freakishly ugly? i can never catch a break. I always get turned away by people that i fall for.I mean am i not that good enough or something? i know i get so shy that i don't even talk to you but that's because when i like someone i think that i am smothering you and stuff by talking to you all the time, i guess i need some reassurance in my life.I really don't want to end up like my friend K.W she always ruins her relationships and what not. i'm just scared i'll end up like her and crap.basically what i'm trying to say is that whenever i like someone i get hurt and the end result is it makes me feel ugly inside and out, so that's why today i was asking poeple if they thought they were ugly or not? most of them said they didn't. I was thinking if these people had so much confidence how come i can't? i guess it comes within yourself haha heinz SELF confidence haha. I'ts just everyday i don't speak to you i fell like blah. I know that's hella selfish but that's what makes me happy haha gaaah.i enjoy walking you to class and what not even if we have nothing to say to each other....my bad! haha but i guess your always late so you have to rush there or you're just avoiding me haha. to add on to my lack of self confidence this one person was talking to my crush and my crush called them cute , IDK i was waaaaay jealous when i read that shit idk? i just was. it made me feel ten times worse then i was already feeling. i should have never told them that i liked them, it would make things so much easier, we would be good friends a nd crap but you're so damn cute...too bad i'm not!
P.S. and i know i barely know you.... but i wanna get to know you :]
Idk call me crazy foo' but i like you.


Words can't explain how i feel.

so my ex is being hella distant idk? she doesn't think it's hard for me not to talk to her and shit but it is. he never belives me when i say i miss her but i honestly do miss her <33 i wish she would belive sometimes.

...

Life is moving in slow motion =/
aha move faster bitch :]

i guess you can say i'm content and crap
haha school is blah
relationships blah
friendships :]]]

ahah bye!